New lesbian love stories (2016 and onwards !!!!!)

New lesbian love stories (2016 and onwards !!!!!)

Hi everybody, Mary here !

So, here it is ! The brand new year is coming, and as you know it, it's time to make some New Year's Resolutions ! So here they come !

Short stories (≈25k-30k)

• The Witch And Her Familiar : in a world where magic is prohibited and casts reign in the wizarding world between witches/wizards and familiars, Bonnie Clark, the very awkward and clumsy witch on Clairmont Street who welcomes lost children in her cottage with her fantastic cookies, crosses pathes with a strange stray black cat on Friday 13^th. But what if the cat... was a familiar called Clara Smith ? A relationship begins between the cute witch and her newly appointed familiar, a relationship of trust, care... and love, maybe ?
• I Was Always Writing About You : enters Jenna O'Malley, a writer in lack of inspiration and who's looking for a solution to her blank page. But she never thought that going to her favourite coffeeshop for her daily caffeine fix would lead her to meet the new barista, a very cute lady called Sophie Howard. Maybe, in the end, she will be the one giving Jenna hope and motivation for her next novel... maybe inspired by her feelings for the barista... but will the feelings be reprocicated ?
• The Escape Of The Flesh : when a mad scientist tries to avoid death by creating a serum that would regenerate his cells even after death, he tries on rat labs before using it on himself. But picking on a fight with the Abernathy twins isn't the best thing to do... Fifteen years after her sister's death, Jill, the only survivor, is in a quest for vengeance. But what she didn't expect in all this madness is to cross pathes with a federal cop sent to investigate on strange murders... Alice Blackwood. Now that she has Alice under her care, what will Jill do to complete her quest of revenge against the people who brutally murdered her family ? And maybe, her relationship with her protégé will blossom into something... more than friendly...

Big Novel Of The Year (≈50-60k) :

• Blue Is The Colour Of Rebellion : Earth has been left thousands of years ago and humans have found themselves stuck in outer space. Until one day, they find a planet that doesn't seem to be inhabited... except for a lively, coloured civilisation of humanoids called the Astrixs. After a thousand years of an unending war and starvation, the rebellious factions unite once again to get rid of the human invador... maybe, at the expense of killing the factions of the Astrix-Human Coalition.When two best friends from the opposite sides find themselves stuck to find a choice between following their factions' rules or running away to save themselves, Mazarine Colemont and Poppy Underwood will have to face the hardest decision of their lives... to fight or to flee... But in the end, which is more important : the destiny of a planet or the destiny of their blossoming relationship ?

I'm definitely not sure of having the time to write all these stories this year. My plan is to release the first two stories before July/August and the third one (which is more horror-themed) for Halloween, and to write the Big Novel during NaNoWriMo (if I have the time to participate this year knowing how hard it was to keep up in 2015 !!!)...

But I guess that if I don't even have an outline for these stories, they won't write by themselves, am I right ? Please tell me which stories you would like to see coming up first and I'll write in consequence !

Alright, I really hope you'll like these stories and I'll see you more this year, hopefully !

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !

The World From A To C : Credits

The World From A To C : Credits

Hi everybody, Mary here.

So, here's my Christmas present ! A 30k story I briefly wrote in December ! (precisely 31810)

(can't get enough lesbian stories now am I right ?)

Anyways, credits rolling. Just imagine the end of a movie, and All About Us from He Is We playing in the distance. You know, to have a little music while reading this absurd list of things that won't make sense.

(Also because this song is so cute so pretty so adorable and it reflects their story and their happy ending so yeah it's all about us if you see what I mean !!!)

Anyways, credits go to :

• my trips in a car next to a little poor area of the city that votes very on the left wing (can't blame them with all the injustices of this world)
• so close by Olafur Arnalds ft Arnor Dan (listen to it in the beginning good atmosphere mmmmmhhhhh)
• my idea of having a lesbian romance ft amnesia to make me work on a type of character i had NEVER worked on before (amnesiac character)
• angsty angsty angsty thoughts can't think about a good old happy story where people fall in love and it's super easy and shit, NO i love to make my characters SUFFER REALLY HARD before they have their happy ending
• trope : sad story ft sad lawyer + ends up being an artist w/artist lover DONE !!!!!

The moral of this story : COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR S/O KIDS !!!!!

(if this was a movie i'd have hishe playing the world from a to c : how it should have ended)

(and it would be just annie telling cassie « Okay here's the plan » and telling the plan and Cassie saying « Okay let's go with this plan » and them never breaking up and them being happy and cheery even if sad lawyer would have still hapenned)

(or maybe annie would have become a writer and become famous because she doesn't even know if people are gonna like her stories if she never publishes them RIGHT ?????)

anyways kids communication is key. But without this miscommunication, there wouldn't have been this angsty angsty angsty story so i hope you enjoyed it and i'll see you soon with something new !!!

see you on new year's eve for the 2016 REVEAL OF THE BOOKS THAT WILL BE RELEASED THEN !!!!!

And as usual, our last word : KIDNEYS !

Epilogue : Six Months Later

Epilogue : Six Months Later

« Cassie, the shop is open ! »

And once again, Annie reminded me of what I had to do for today.

I mean, I'm not gonna complain : since our shop was created, everyone in town knows us, and we even sometimes get very prestigious clients from Miami. Bankers, even ; the utter irony when my girlfriend – now fiancée – used to work for some of them.

Paintings are usually ordered online or bought right away at the shop ; people obviously love my creations, but we mostly get orders for a specific item, a little help for their home, and we help them design their house via the Internet, but I'm not gonna lie, we'll have to expand somehow.

We thought about travelling a lot recently, to meet our customers' demands, but we still don't have the money to satisfy all of them, so we just tell them that we can only offer a little help via the website, but they'll have to do the rest of the work themselves.

But mostly, we are happy with what we've done. Our two cats, Snow and Ginger (wow, so awesome, they've been named litterally after their colour), are pacing around, sometimes snuggling up against some customer's legs, which would make them usually happy. When you don't count that old lady who threw a tantrum at them and almost hit them with her cane. What a bitch.

Anyways, our life has never been so happy than right now ; to counteract my proposal to Annie, she also bought me an engagement ring two weeks after the restaurant dinner, to make things equal she said. And then she had come back with the most beautiful diamond ring of all creation. And I couldn't thank her enough for it.

About my memories since the accident, I now have almost all of them ; still a little blurry about the last five years – almost six, oh my god – but it doesn't matter anymore. I mean, I have Annie, and she has me. And this is all that matters.

We have decided to marry next spring, probably in March or April ; Annie says she'd like to have some cherry flowers all over the place, but it's a little bit too hot to have this kind of tree here, in Florida. She just replies with something along the lines of yeah, we'll go to Japan then, and our parents will be there. I don't want to have a big ceremony, though ; just a couple of friends and our families. No more than that. I don't want fake people from our old life coming back like dirt on our shoes. Whatever. She's pulling the pants in our couple anyways, so I guess I'll just have to do with it. I love the idea too, after all.

Alongside with our new cats we adopted a couple of months ago, we decided to go even faster and try to regain the lost time when we used to fight against each other in order to start the procedures to adopt a child. We know it will probably be long, but we're willing to wait for it. And we seriously hope that our little child is ready to do the same for us.

For now, our eyes are settled on a little girl called Alice. Red hair, green eyes, she seems very interested and we've already met her twice. She doesn't bother having two moms, she says, and that's a very comforthing thought. She says she likes drawing and she already even gave us a couple of her masterpieces that we're now hanging on the door of our fridge. As if we were already moms.

When I see children nowadays being more acceptant than the old decrepit people we have in our political system, I wonder why these kids aren't elected instead of an 80-year-old grump who blatters his opinion when he's just spilling hatred and shit right of his mouth with the very pitiful excuse of using the First Amendment, freedom of speech, to justify what they're saying. And I believe that it's the worst way to shit on the actual policital fight that our ancestors had to go through to be free from censorship and political abuse.

But I guess these people are just plain stupid, and always missing when it comes to having a brain. They never had one, don't have one, and they'll never have one, I guess.

The day finally ends up with more sales than we could hope for. Customers served, we got some new clients in the online server, and we even did a little bit of promotion on social media. Annie closes the shop at five, closing everything behind her, checking what we had left and all the orders that would be sent tomorrow, before going to see me in the back of the place to ask if I want to order food tonight.

« Why ? There's nothing to do today. I can cook, I answer with a little moan.

• Don't you remember, Cassie ? We have an appointment with the judge at six today for him to declare us capable of adopting. Where are the papers ?
• On the drawer, where you left them this morning. Hey ! » I interrupt her as she's leaving in a hurry. « Are you a little bit nervous or what ?
• A little, but it'll go fine. So, Chinese or Indian ?
• Indian, I answer while taking my purse, I'd like to have this... curry we at the other day, remember it...
• Yeah, I'd like to have that too. I'll just order a big pot for two and tell them to serve us around eight tonight. ID ?
• What ?
• Your ID, do you have it ? In your purse ?
• Yeah, I do. Hey... », I add while putting my hands on her shoulders. « I'm pretty convinced we'll be fantastic parents. We already love Alice, and she loves us. Nothing can go wrong now.
• I guess it's just a little bit of apprehension towards being a mother... I mean, it's gonna be a lot of responsabilities, right there.
• That's why we'll be two to take care of her... Come on. Let's go, or we'll be late ! For Alice !
• For Alice ! », my fiancée blurted out, and we left the shop to go to the court of Miami.

Towards new horizons. A wedding, a daughter... and so much more.

1095 words (Total : 31810).

Chapter 7 : Moving On, Together

Chapter 7 : Moving On, Together

Scene 13 : The Big Plan

Cassie started telling me about her magnificent plan, that according to her, would be just the best thing ever.

There is a place, in Florida, called Sandy Shores. Next to Miami, great view on the beach. A litlte building that could be bought for a shop to be created. She started talking about big plans, a little flower shop that would also be dedicated to artistic stuff like paintings, drawings, poetry and beautiful things.

Beautiful Things. Yeah, I could definitely see us having a little shop with this name, and having some pets and kids. It would be marvelous, really.

The thing is, we have to take our decision very quickly, because the sale is only up until next week, and many people are already willing to put the price to buy it.

But still. I think it's time for us to move on from our very delicate situation, and start living, together. And in the end, the sentence we had, together or not at all, started going towards the together.

During that night, we decided to keep it a secret. We'd tell Cassie's parents on the next morning, to see how we'd buy it, and looking at my bank account, I realised that I barely had half of the money required to buy it.

Bank loan it is then.

« Yeah, I mean, if you go to the bank, you only have to prove you have enough money for the first couple years, right ?

• Cassie... looks like you know nothing about banks. First of all you have to give the guarantee, what you just called enough money for the first couple of years. But then, you need to have a stable job, am I right ? With a decent salary so you don't go bankrupt. We're going to a very brand new place, and I'm telling you, we have no guarantee of having such salaries. Unless... Wait, I have an idea !
• What idea ? Annie ? »

Barely a second later, I had my phone in my hand, dialing Linda, asking her for some little informations about the bank. Since it goes on a national scale, it wouldn't be hard to have an appointment with a friend of hers in the loan department. She had more friends than me, let's be honest : I've never been in touch with my colleagues besides her anyways. And that was just because our offices were in front of each other in the corridor.

On the other hand, I called my former teachers from high-school (the art teacher, the litterature teacher, the music teacher, and the drama teacher would be enough), asking them to give a little plug to their protégés in order to make some noise on the Internet. I had heard that they had all retired, and that they managed to do something pretty great, in the end.

I finally gave a last plug to Cassie on my social media website, and encouraged her to create an online shop – I mean, why hadn't she done this years ago ? It seems to be the best way to get a name when you're little nowadays – and people starting noticing her work. If the bank asked us for a job, we could give them our referentials, and they'd be pretty impressed by the amount of work we've been doing lately. We also contacted people in the district and the mayor of Sandy Shores himself to ask if they needed a shop we would offer them and he seemed pretty interested in the concept.

In the end, the bank loan was given an hour later (thanks Linda for the cheeky plug-in), and we contacted the seller, to ask him for some more details about the place that he was pretty glad to give to us. I mean, when he saw my former job (well, soon-to-be former, I haven't quit yet and my boss is still harassing me about my come-back, which sadly never happen), he couldn't refuse such a prestigious person coming in, with her girlfriend, in a little town like Sandy Shores.

« Wow, didn't know you had so many contacts in your area, my girlfriend told me before kissing my neck softly. Now we're pretty sure to have the place !

• When I told you that being a little snob sometimes could pay off... » I started talking, but then remembered that she probably doesn't remember herself calling me a snob whenever I went to this bourgeois parties with other big banks like the one I'm working for. « Anyways. I also had our teachers from high-school on the phone... and they said that they'd give a little plug to your work soon. I basically informed everyone of what we are about to do... and now, we only have to tell your parents. And mine, of course, but it can wait.
• You should tell them though, it's important...
• I'll tell them tomorrow then, just after we told your parents, I quickly suggested while we would be planning for our departure. Oh, and I'll have to call the bank to tell them that I'm leaving, now. »

When I picked my phone one more time, calling my boss directly, I felt a little relief going through, as my chest went lighter and all my problems seemed to go away instantly. I mean, this was the beginning of a new adventure, for us ; away from all we had been through, we were ready, five years after leaving high-school, as we'd be reunited after five years of practically nothingness. I just told him I was leaving, didn't hear his pleas for me to come back, and I told him that there was probably someone more talented than me, who just left university, and who's jobless, and who'd love to take my place. He just ended up wishing me good luck and made me promise to keep in touch.

Eh, maybe this guy isn't a douche after all. Maybe I just hated him because he reminded me of this hated job. But he seems to be a nice guy, when you think about it.

Maybe, in the end, it's time for me to move on. Just like Cassie did with her amnesia and remission, when she told me that she didn't want our past to affect our future. After all, we both wanted things to back just the way they were, and we were on our way now.

I just had to let it go.

And all of a sudden, in my head, all of the bad memories replayed all at once, and I felt weird, like all those fights between the two of could have been avoided if I had talked to her in the beginning, instead of running away like the idiot that I am. I was pretty much embarassed about whad had happened to us, the crazy fights, the drugs we had both taken, and all the shit we had been through.

But in the end, we finally see the end of the storm, it is an awakening – the dawn of a new day, for both of us, and now, nothing could happen to us.

I'm right, aren't I ?

« What are you thinking about ? » Cassie's voice surprised me, letting me jump a little before I turned around to see her pretty face. Man, her deep, rich brown eyes, her messy and curly brown hair, I missed those. « Not something bad, I hope...

• No... but it just feels weird, to let all these things go behind. I mean, it will probably take us time to recover from what happened during the last few years. Learning to trust each other again will be an exercice much more complicated than I thought.
• And I'll take all the time you need to make sure you're alright, she answered while pulling me into her arms. I promise you, Annie, nothing bad will ever happen to us again. And even if shit happens to us, I promise we'll keep on talking and have good communication. Just like what we actually missed while you were away in Detroit. Maybe we were a little bit too young to understand what being apart truly meant, but now, we know it, and we learnt from it. But the situation we've been through during the last five years ? I can definitely tell that it will never happen ever again. »

And while she held me firmly, eyes closed, her kissing my head like a little child who needs protection – and God, yes I needed protection – I had a strange feeling. A new one. All the bad memories seemed to fade away, replaced by the bright future that we had in front of us. Like the lat five years were just a nightmare, only there to scare us and threaten our relationship. Like a very long hardship to test the strength of our love. But now we were out of the storm, our love had conquered everything, and our relationship was stronger than ever before. And we were living again, together like it should have always been, now the situation was clear and only our imagination was the limit to our dreams and creations – I felt free. I felt powerful, and this new power I had just been granted was maybe, something I needed.

Not a power over other people, I don't care about that.

But rather a power over my own life, that I had let slip away for the sake of Cassie, and the sake of our relationship. And for the first time since I had left high-school, I felt that once again, my life was mine and only mine, and that no one was in control of it.

Cassie had gained a few followers on social media that were enthusiastic about her work, and a few potential clients that had already ordered stuff on her online website.

Since we would be in possession of the shop in a week, we both thought that it was time to move out and start our new life.

« I can't believe it's finally happening, I said while packing my clothes in my luggage once again. I mean, I called my landlord to tell him I was moving out with you – he knows about me being gay, by the way – and he was very happy about us. And now, we have the shop, freedom to design it the way we want – and there's even a little apartment above it, so we can live there and start a family. God, I've been waiting for this moment for such a long time...

• I'm excited, too ! », she said while doing the same thing with her luggage. « We'll be on our own, with the life we've always wanted to have, and now, nothing can stop us. »

However, that didn't change some things that needed to be solved.

As we both contacted a psychologist in Miami, we re-took the test via Skype, and discovered we still both had depression, and in my case, drug addiction, that we needed to fix. Cassie didn't seem to be very bothered by it, but for me, it seemed like a big deal, since we would have to do therapy, again. But since it was for the best, we couldn't refuse the offer.

In the end, I believe, that all worked out. We only had to inform our parents, design the place where we'd live, and then, move out next week to recieve our first clients. It seemed a little scary at first, but the prophecy we had made at three in the morning, completely drunk and after some mind-blowing sex, was about to become true.

We were leaving Glendam, once and for all.

Once again, I slept in our bed this night, snuggling on her chest like a kitty cat – God I should stop the analogies – and we fell asleep to the sound of happiness and the sight of a bright future.

Maybe it was meant to be, our story. It took turns and more time that we thought, but we made it. The future was now reacheable, and we only had to grab it.

We only had to grab it.

Words : 2058 (Total : 27682).

Scene 14 : Sandy Shores

On the next morning, we decided to have a big surprise thingy, so I invited my parents on Skype, as I wanted to tell them at the same time as Cassie's.

I mean, my girlfriend – it still feels to say it, I mean, knowing she isn't my ex anymore – agreed to do it with me, so we ended up, all in front of the breakfast table, having a big announcement on our lips.

« So... here we go, I said, everyone's eyes on me. One, I left the bank. I hated it anyways.

• God, we're so glad you left. », my mom said. I thought she'd me mad at me, but it was actually the opposite. « Your dad and I have tried for so long to tell you that you should change your job, but you've never listened to us anyways.
• She wasn't listening to us anyways, Erica, Martha replied. Neither me, nor Jack, nor your husband...
• I know, right ? Anyways... Peter and I wanted to tell you the truth, but you were always about Cassie here, Cassie there. Even after your break-up.
• Is it true ? » Cassie seemed a little bit taken aback by those confessions, but she ended up understanding them anyways. « Annie, come on...
• Anyways... Cassie and I have bought a little shop in a town called Sandy Shores, in Florida. It's next to Miami and it's in front of the beach. It's very cozy, in a small city, and we really love it. We intend to have a flowery-artisty shop down there. »

For a couple of minutes, the room was filled with compliments and hurras, from both of our families, and we felt filled with pride. We kept on talking for an hour about our plans, how we'd fill the space, and since Cassie was the artisty one, we had decided that she'd design plans that we'd end up agreeing on anyways. I mean, our tastes are so similar – except for clothes, she still hasn't changed her blue-and-black pattern and I haven't changed my white-and-pink one – that it wouldn't be hard for both of us to find an agreement.

Once the announcement was finished, we decided to start thinking about the designs of our new place. We spent the last few days in Glendam on our computers, trying to have our furniture arrived by the time we would be there next week. Cassie designed our bedroom, our kitchen, our living room, our bathroom – and God, it felt amazing to hear her saying the word our, and we, and all the fantastic things we are now about to do.

In the end, we moved nine days later. Now, we're getting ready to welcome our first clients, but before all of that jazz, we needed the help of construction men helping us design the shop. Cassie didn't have much trouble to tell them what to do ; and besides some sexist jerks who didn't really wanted a woman to yell at them because of a mistake they had make and they hadn't apologised for, and some homophobic douchebags who didn't see our relationship with a good eye, they made quite a good job. They were paid dutifully and left with no word behind them.

« Annie... I think this is the most beautiful place ever. Don't you think ?

• Yeah, I agree... I mean, with you on charge of the designs, it couldn't go wrong...
• Don't forget that you helped me for this... so we can say that it's a co-production... besides, you're still the most beautiful thing in this room.
• And you're the most beautiful thing on this planet, I answered with a grin on my face, arms around her neck.
• God, you're so cheesy, she replied before kissing me.
• It's supposed to be cheesy, come on. »

After a little break consisting of kissing and hugging in the middle of the way, we looked around one last time to see what our two-month work had done. Burgundy walls, with paintings on the walls and plants under them ; some cute designs for clothes, notebooks, and inspirational quotes everywhere. I had taken the opportunity to sell some of my poetry to show it to the world, even it it felt a little bit weird to show potential clients what I'm usually writing in the middle of the night in my bed with insomnia and depressive thoughts clogging up my messed-up brain.

I mean, when you think about it, I left my creative side when I left high-school, five years ago ; even if I had a minor in litterature and creative writing, I had made finance and law my job, and to be honest, it prevented me from creating so many things that I wish I had gotten the time for them to be created.

« It's gonna be a brand new experience ! Come on ! Cassie excitedly told me when I had told her about this side of the plan. If you've always wanted to do it, what is holding you back now ?

• I don't know. Maybe the irrational fear of being judged ?
• At the very least, you have the intelligence to realise that it's irrational. It's a good first step. And I mean, art is subjective, it's always been and it will always be. So, in the end, no matter what you do, there will always be people who will adore it, and people who will despise it. You just gotta keep on the positive and forget the negative. And it's not urgent or anything. I mean, take all your time and tell me how you feel about this, alright ? »

We were supposed to open the shop two days after.

In the end, we even met the mayor himself, who wanted to see why such a rich girl as me, I guess, was into town to open a little shop with her girlfriend. Unlike some homophobic douchebags that we had previously met, he seemed friendly and even brought his wife, who absolutely fell in love with some of Cassie's works. It even seemed like she was pleading for her husband to buy her some stuff before they left, and he did, actually.

We visited the town during the next couple of weeks, and met new people. And now, we're pretty much the new celebrities in this town, although I hope that it isn't because we're a lesbian couple or anything. The town seems very nice and calm ; and there, besides a couple of looks we got from old nasty people, it seemed that we could hold hands and kiss on the beach without being flagged as weird and wrong.

The town is composed of very old, 18^th century-looking houses ; and we felt more like in a touristic place than anything else. On the main road, there are many grocery stores, and also hotels. The mayor had told us that during the summer, people in their holidays could multiple the local population by four, or even five during the most touristic periods.

There is also a pizzeria and an ice-cream parlor, along with some cute restaurants. In the end of the road, there is a pier, with some cute wooden attractions and a candy shop, although it's closed for now since there aren't tourists at this period of the year.

The beach is very beautiful, with its golden sand and pretty clear water. We even took a little dip in it on a Sunday morning after a little jogging down the main road. I can see, now, where people come here and not anywhere else during their holidays.

In the end, now we have all of our traditions back. In the morning, we wait for each other to have breakfast together, with some anime ; during our free time, we play loads of Mario Kart and we even bought the last game in the franchise that was released two months ago. Cassie is now fully back to work and the customers coming in our shop to buy some of her floral arrangements or paintings is the best thing in the entire day.

Well, for me, I guess this is a new life starting. I focus more on poetry than ever, I also take care of the legal papers of the shop while Cassie does the accounting – I never liked this anyways – and I'm in the front office, recieving people, when Cassie isn't there with her big smile and her pretty face covered in dimples when she laughs.

It feels like we are back from a hiatus, and after years of being undecised and confused, we are home. Because, I realised, home could be a person. And for both of us, home is the other person, wherever and whenever.

We were definitely meant to be, in the end.

« Annie ! Come on, I'd like to give you a little present. »

Cassie is in front of the door, all dressed up and coat in hand. She tells me to take a shower and wear a nice outfit, since we are going out tonight. She says she wants to show me this Italian restaurant, that seemed so romantic that she couldn't turn down the offer when the chef told her that he'd reserve the best table on the balcony, first floor, view to the sea and stuff, to honour us for the little work we did at his place a couple of weeks ago.

Half an hour later, we were out, and walking down the street. The restaurant wasn't far away, and it was cool outside, so we didn't need to take the car out. Marco – the said chef – welcomed us with the biggest smile ever, telling everyone around him that we had been the people who had helped him design his place.

« Let me show you the table. », he says while letting us leading the walk leading upstairs.

He gives us the menu and bows down before leaving, taking care of his other clients. And he's right, we have the best table in the whole place ; conveniently placed in the middle of the balcony, first floor, we were right in front of the beach, while the sun was setting down.

While I order the classic pasta alla bolognese and she tries the pizza margherita, Marco comes bach, wishing we're having a good time here. He takes our orders and makes sure that we don't wait too long – after all, we are his guests of honour.

« So... what is this for ? I suddenly ask. I mean, you don't usually do that kind of favour... and it doesn't seem your typical type of making me go outside.

• It's because it's a special day... I mean, we just opened our shop, we have the best job ever, and we are the happiest people on this planet, right at this moment. I just wanted to have a little celebration, you know, just to relax a little bit and enjoy the bliss that is our life. »

She smiles a little, and shifts a little, as if she was trying to take something from her purse. Now I see where she's going, but I keep my mouth shut, and I let her do her little speech that will probably make me cry a little. Tears of joy, of course.

« So... yeah. I think it's been a very long time coming, am I right ? We've been friends forever, and we've been dating for eleven years. It's time.

Annie, would you give me the honour... to marry me ? »

« Of course, you Dumbo ! », I honestly reply before she puts the ring on my finger, and kisses me passionately.

People on the balcony are now watching us, being all happy to see us now engaged, but we were honestly the happiest. Because the big great ending I've always wanted to come was here.

And marriage was just a way to strentgthen and proclaim our love unbreakable and, the most important, forever.

2033 words (Total : 29715).

Chapter 6 : Cassandra's Prophecy

Chapter 6 : Cassandra's Prophecy

Scene 11 : The Letters

On the next morning, I wake up, Annie in my arms.

Vaguely remembering what happened last night and how she ended up sleeping in my bed, I try to move the arm under her ribs to leave the bed, but it seems harder than I thought. I kissed her forehead, trying to pull myself away from her. I end up managing to complete my task, walking slowly outside of the bedroom and going to the kitchen to make us breakfast.

As I'm preparing waffles with jam and maple syrup on top, I go back to see Annie, who doesn't have seemed to move since I left her. And at the exact moment where I sit on the bed before waking her up, she opens her eyes, looking at me, not with a smile on her face, but with the look of shame that I seem to remember a little bit now.

« Do you feel better ? I ask suddenly. You know, you can sleep in here every night if you want to...

• I'm good... and about sleeping in your bed, I'm very sorry if I woke you up at three in the morning. I just couldn't sleep... »

Because of that nightmare. I now remember what happened last night. I don't really understand what's going on in her mind, but she worries way too much, and I don't even know why I still deserve such priviledge from my ex-girlfriend. I mean, we haven't mutually decided to go back together yet, so why is it so hard to move on ?

Annie eats her pancakes without even looking at me, and we watch anime without talking to each other. I guess the feeling of shame will never go away, even if we really want it to, just because we don't seem to move on from our past confrontations – her more than me, we have to admit that, after all, I have a bloody amnesia ! – and apparently, Annie doesn't allow herself to have a new relationship with me.

What was her nightmare about ?

Was she afraid to lose me ? Was she thinking about the accident ? Did she think it was her fault all along ?

I mean, come on. It was an accident, right ? I would never try to leave her anytime.

Because I love her too much for that.

« Annie ? I ask her while nuzzling into her neck like a purring cat. Do you know how much I love you ?

• Of course I do, you big tree, was her only answer, her eyes still glued to the screen. It's just... I mean, you need time to find back your former life, and I need time to re-adjust to this... new situation. Speaking of which, do your memories go well now ?
• It's still a bit blurry for the last few years. Looks like my college education went down the drain, I explain, my arms around her. I mean, my instinct guides me for most techniques, but it looks like I'm just a weirdo while doing art.
• Or a magician, which sounds way cooler. » For the first time in the morning, Annie seems to relax a little bit, smiling in the process. « Because your work is pure magic, Cassie, and you know it. »

I end up realising what's going on between the two of us. It's clear, really ; it's just that we don't manage to communicate anymore, after this accident, after all my memories got erased. I told her, the other day, that my memories until high-school had come back, but the rest is still blurry and undecised, and these years will probably never come back. The only problem is, all of our issues started there. And I can't solve a puzzle if I haven't been given the instructions on how to make it.

As Annie has left the house with my mom to do some groceries, leaving me all alone in the apartment as my dad was working. As I'm walking through the corridors, I see a trap on the ceiling. Taking a ladder in the nearby closet, I go up there, in the attic, looking at some old things I could find. Knowing my family quite well by now, I know that if my family wanted to hide something from me, they would put it there.

I end up in front of a big brown box which reads Don't open. Even if the inscription is very clearly written all over the box, my curiosity takes over and I take it downstairs, to see what's inside it in the living room.

As I open it, the very first thing I see is a note. I recognise the handwriting as my mother's. It seems to be a warning note about what I'm about to find in that box.

« Dear Cassie,

You can choose to read the letters that are in this box, and be aware of the truth concerning the last few years about your relationship with Annie.

Or you can just leave it all here and never look at it. And never know the troubles you've been into, the fights you've created, and the truth about your break-up.

Both ways, I can't decide to choose for you. I had hidden this box from your bedroom here, in the attic, hoping that you wouldn't find it.

I mean, I just want you to be happy, and if that means you won't have to remember the bad things that happned to you, then I'll take this risk by deliberately hiding things from you.

Annie has told me multiple times about how she'd love to go back with you. She even said she would change her entire plans to stay with you, somehow.

But for now, she needs to work, and she needs to go back to Detroit until she has a plan B. So, you'll have to figure it now. And it's not by looking at the past that you'll find the truth.

It's by looking at the future. Because in the end, it is all that matters now.

Hope you understand,

Your beloved mother. »

I just put the note aside and started reading the letters anyways.

I looked at five years of letters, written either by me or by her, and also screenshots of my own phone. I don't even know why I have them, but they were practically telling the whole story in little messages sent from one another.

From : Annie ^_^

Don't even try to talk to me anymore, you fail. You don't even deserve my attention.

To : Annie ^_^

I haven't failed, I'm still getting a degree. What's up with your superior mentality you're having recently ? You've become so fake it's unreal.

From : Annie ^_^

Yeah, you won't get anywhere in life with your degree. You put yourself in this shit. Good luck to get noticed in this unfair world. Besides, does « staying small » make you superior than me in any way ?

To : Annie ^_^

I don't understand what's happening to you, seriously. Have the rich people brain-washed you during a lecture or what ? :)

From : Annie ^_^

No, they haven't. But maybe I should stop worrying about you. I mean, maybe you never wanted to leave this doomed town. What happened to « together or not at all » ? I thought you'd be out by now. And still, you seem to be happy in this shithole that is Glendam. I pity you, seriously. It's like, you've never even tried.

To : Annie ^_^

I tried. I failed. Life is life and you don't get to rule mine. Besides, you are the one who left and let me down. You actually prefer money and fame over your girlfriend. That's what I call pathetic.

From : Annie ^_^

I thought you'd leave with me, that's all. Besides, you were happy to see that at the very least one of us was leaving Glendam. I guess you're not anymore.

To : Annie ^_^

Of course I'm happy for you, you dummy !!! I'm just upset because of your sudden condescence towards me because I didn't make it like you did. What did I do wrong ?

From : Annie ^_^

Nothing. Forget about that. You never succeded and you'll never make it. Goodbye.

The other letters seemed to be in the same tone. She'd always say things along the lines of You're pathetic, I don't even know what I'm doing with you anymore and I'd always answer some things along the lines of It's not my fault, life is life, just let me live mine and live yours.

The main issue, according to those letters, is that we were supposed to leave Glendam. Together or not at all. Apparently, it didn't work for us. Annie left, I didn't ; she started treating me like a pile of shit, and I was barely breathing, as written in one letter.

That, and the distance between Detroit and Glendam, only added more tension between the two of us, until we broke up, four days before Christmas. I look at pictures taken when we would see each other. We didn't even know why we would be doing this, as we had bruises all over our faces, necks and arms. Now I truly understand Annie's fear of me touching her. When it reminds her of our physical fights rather than cuddles in bed when we were teenagers, I see where the trigger comes from and I won't deny it anymore.

The last letter I find is one written by me, and apparently, never sent ; as it's in the enveloppe and it was still close as I open it to see what could have been my last message sent to Annie. Maybe I haven't sent it because of the accident, and then, my mom decided to hide it, and I probably shouldn't try to open it ; but once again, the temptation is too great to let it pass. I need to know what I was thinking right before the accident.

« Dear Annie,

I can't do this anymore.

I can't live without you, and even if we broke up, I can't imagine a single day without you.

You're my ray of sunshine, my happiness, my everything, and I can't bare to lose you. Not now, after all we've been through together.

I stopped seeing the therapist a couple of months ago already. You've never seen one for that matter. Maybe you should try, one day.

Anyways. I'm not trying anymore. I can't live this life. Yes, you guessed it, this is a goodbye note, and I'm not even joking.

I'm just a burden to you, I got it. Just some shit on your shoe while you're walking to success. It'd be better to wipe it all out, right ? And get rid of me.

Once and for all.

Goodbye, Annie. And may you have a better life than me. Because you really deserve it, princess... more than me. »

« Hello there. Looks like you found about the forbidden box. »

My mother was standing in front of me. How long has she stayed there, staring at me in silence, I don't know, but she seemed quite... sad. Not mad, just sad. Nothing more and nothing less.

« I was curious, that's all... besides, I think you owed me an explanation for all of this.

• Listen, I tried to hide this box to prevent you from having negative feelings while getting back with Annie... », my mom tried to say before I interrupted her. « You know, Cassie...
• I'm not talking to you, mom... I'm talking to Annie... I think it's time to talk... am I right ?
• Well, if that's what you want... », she almost murmured while sitting down next to me. « Where do you want to start, Cassie ?
• I don't know... maybe why I failed in high-school, why you left me behind to go to Detroit, and how I almost ended up my own life... oh, and I need to know all your feelings towards me. And the story of that nightmare you had last night. Is that too much for you ?
• Well, you absolutely need to know it... »

Words : 2068 (Total : 23568).

Scene 12 : We Need To Talk

It was just the beginning of a very, very long conversation.

« So, let's start with the very beginning, shall we ? Well, we grew up with very tolerant families, so... we never thought about our love being disturbing to many. But we found out the truth... the hard way. When we arrived in high-school, people started to pick on us and bully us because... well, we're gay, am I right ?

• Yeah... keep going...
• We never thought how ignorant and hateful the world could be. We started questioning our sexuality... or at the very least, you more than me. You started asking if us being together was right... and you know, now, that it is, but you couldn't help yourself and keep asking those questions. In the end, it became a daily thing. Conversations between the two of us started going around that topic more than others, and even when you were in bed with me... you'd still ask this question. Are we allowed to do this ? And I'd say yes, of course, and I meant it...
• But I didn't believe you. That's what you're trying to tell me, right ? » Now, I started seeing the bigger picture, about how we grew apart. « But why did I do this ? I mean, now, I know that we're as normal as anyone else...
• We were younger, Cassie. The judgment from others seemed superior to our own feelings... But it only got worse as you started frequenting the wrong people.
• What wrong people ? »

Annie closed her mouth, took a deep breath, and kept on talking. She talked about the worst thing that had happened : the drugs. She talked about how I had frequented some very dangerous people from high-school, taking drugs in order to forget my own insecurities and to fit in a group that wouldn't have accepted me otherwise.

She talked about all the times I would sneak in her apartment, still high from what I had taken, murmuring slurs in her ear, and sometimes punch her. Of course she would fight back, but in the morning, I would apologise. And her, like a little angel fallen from the sky, she would accept those apologies, and she would stay with me no matter what.

She showed me an old conversation on her phone – apparently, I hadn't been the only one crazy enough to take screenshots of what happened – about a little text discussion we had back in senior year of high-school.

To : Cassie <3

Why are you doing this, Cassie ? Don't you see what you're doing to me ? A thousand times I've told you that what we're doing is right. How many times do I need to tell you more until you finally start believing it ?

From : Cassie <3

I don't know. Annie, you said it yourself ; you worry too much about me. Why are you still caring about a junkie who will fail her finals anyways ?

To : Cassie <3

Because this junkie who will fail her finals anyways is my girlfriend. That's all. I'm just trying to save you, Cassie... please let me try at least.

From : Cassie <3

You'll waste your time on me, Annie. Please don't do this.

To : Cassie <3

I won't give up on you, Cassie. I'll never do that. Promise me you'll keep on fighting. For us, alright ?

From : Cassie <3

Alright. Love you. <3

To : Cassie <3

Me too. :)

« So, when I Glendam, and you stayed in here, we started drifting apart, and I knew you'd fail your finals anyways. So I held everything in anyways, and I tried to distanciate myself from you, hoping that you'd let me go.

I know I've acted in a very dumb way, and that I treated you like nothing. I know, this is the shittiest behaviour you'll ever encouter in your life. But on the other hand, I had done everything to make you leave go to Detroit with me.

I had planned on studying litterature, and you, art. Even if we knew this wouldn't pay, we were happy, and that's all that counted. But you failed, I had to study law. While doing it, I looked for jobs that would suit your curriculum. But I didn't find any.

I tried to hold this secret for a while. I thought you'd be happy. But... you know, life took its toll. I took what people call boosters, in jargon. To keep the best grades ever, I'd be up until two or three in the morning, a picture of you on the corner of my laptop.

I was telling myself : yeah, I'm doing it for her, I want to save her and give her the life she deserves. But you know the consequences of being drugged all the time. You went to therapy, and stopped doing it, at the moment where I started it.

Needless to say how shitty I felt when I learnt about it. I mean, I was happy for you being out of this... but I was in. I started thinking that in the end, you never tried to make it out of there, which is wrong, because I know that accidents in life happen and...

And I had become selfless, I was doing it all for you... I mean, I still have a minor in litterature and creative writing, just in case. Just like you have a minor in accounting, if you look at your diploma over there. I had advised you to do it and you made it, for me.

So... yeah. In conclusion, I did it all for you, Cassie. The studies, the job that I hate, I live in a dumpster and I save so much money so we can both move out, one day. I never thought, not even once, that you were bad. You've always been my girlfriend and you will always be.

We had taken a break, not a proper break-up... that's why I felt like you being intimate with me was breaking the rules of said break. But I still love you, and I hope that you too, still feel this way... »

At this moment, I couldn't control myself anymore. I mean, she's right, I still love her. I'm pretty sure that doctors wouldn't understand this, but even when I didn't have any memories of her or of my family, I still loved her, for no apparent reason since I didn't know what had happened with me, but I guess that amnesia doesn't erase your feelings for some reason. As if your brain was trying to tell you who you used to love and who you used to hate.

Annie only gasped a little as I was pulling her towards me. Leaving a chaste kiss on her lips, I then held her in my arms, telling that of course, I loved her too, there was no denial in that. We both sobbed a little and laughed nervously, telling each other the truth while reading those letters that we should have probably left in the past. Maybe it was the time for communication, after all.

A couple of hours after the beginning of this conversation, we finally left my bedroom, and explained what had happened to my parents. They seemed very happy for us, and they only wished us the best as they prepared dinner while we played some Mario Kart.

In the end, a few days later, we would sleep together in our bed once again. We started kissing again, and all of that good stuff (including sex) that we apparently missed so much during the last few years.

Annie has promised me to stop those boosters, as she said, and that if she needed some more time before ging to work, she could stay in there and my family was very happy to pay her food and daily spendings, in counterpart for some work in the apartment that she couldn't refuse.

The only thing that was bothering me, was the fact that she'd have to leave at a certain point. She was now certain to be fired, even if she had kept sending e-mails to her boss to tell him that she'd come back. She had even accepted to do some tasks on her computer, right from Glendam, but she knew that it wouldn't last long.

Basically, I was afraid of the same story happening again, of the past repeating itself, as if we had never learnt our lesson, and that fate was just a bitch who didn't want to see us together. I even started looking for some new jobs for Annie, next to a house that we'd live in, and some occupation for me at the same time.

I was sort of maying my debt that I owed her somehow, and that I would have to pay one day. Because I had been a very, very bad girlfriend over the past five years and I had to make it up somehow. She had ruined her entire life and career, and her life goals, just for me, and I had done nothing in return but enjoy my life away from her, even if it was in this shithole called Glendam.

I can't even imagine the pain she's been through in order to make sure that I'd have a similar life to hers, and that we'd be both successful, happy and together. Only then did I understand the meaning of together or not at all : in the end, she had just delayed my departure from Glendam (or maybe I did, I guess we'll know), and the same result would be reached. Just a couple of years late.

Maybe I was too impatient a couple of years ago. Maybe the jealousy was over my rational thinking. Actually, she hadn't told me about her surprise and her wanting to save me, so maybe I thought that she didn't want to hear from me anymore. That, and the fact that she had cursed at me, probably explained our break-up.

But now we both see the truth. And I'm on my computer, trying to find something that could suit the two of us, but as the current sitauation of the economy doesn't allow us to have much, I end up looking for places that are very far away from Michigan.

In the end, I look at a little city in Florida, called Sandy Shores. It's next to Miami, and it looks like a little haven next to the beach. I mean, if the city is called Sandy Shores, you'd expect some sand at a certain point. In this little city, there was a little house right on the main avenue facing the beach, for a little shop of any kind, that is on sale until next week.

Not even hesitating for one second, I suddenly have an idea. Taking my laptop with me, I go back to the living room where Annie is watching some baking show I've never seen in my entire life. As she comes near me, she realises what I'm about to say. I mean, I've been teasing her for the last couple of days, telling her that I would find a solution for her, and now, there was an opportunity, and we only had one shot in order to benefit from it.

« So, you found something ? she asks, hoping that it'd be something affordable.

• Yeah... I mean, it's a little bit high in price, and I wouldn't really like you to pay everything on your own... I feel like I'm stealing your money while you're just sitting here, watching me robbing you. I don't know how to feel about this, Annie.
• Cassie... » She stands up and puts her hands on my shoulders. « Listen to me very carefully : I have a priviledge that you don't have. I spent years saving money for you, for me, for us. I think it's time to spend it. »

She lets a big grin on her face, knowing that our life was about to change. Finally, she opened her mouth again, only to ask me :

« So, where's this fantastic place you want to show me ? »

Words : 2056 (Total : 25624).

Chapter 5 : Annie's Prayer

Chapter 5 : Annie's Prayer

Scene 9 : Regrets and remorse

I don't know what happened, honestly.

I don't know what took me when I kissed Cassie on the cheek to make her lose the race, what took me when we started tickling each other so damn hard we were laughing like never before, when I asked her if I could kiss her, when I finally did, when I felt her lips pressing against mine, and I'm not even gonna like, she kissed back.

She kissed back.

Does that mean that she wants to go back with me ? Or was it just a natural reaction, like a hormonal thing where you get aroused because you're kissing someone ?

I don't even know. But since the kiss, we haven't talked about it, so maybe it wasn't a good idea after all.

On the one hand, I really enjoyed the kiss, not gonna lie ; how it felt, the chapstick she used after lunch and brushing our teeth ; how smooth and delicate her lips were against mine, and how I wish this feeling would never end.

But at the same time, I can't help but feeling a little bit ashamed of what I've done. I mean, maybe she just accepted it to please me, because she didn't know what to do, because she thought that the kiss would make me happy, or just because she believed that it would turn things better than before, since the accident, and I feel like it was pity sex – not really sex, but something along those lines – and she knows, oh God she knows that I probably won't stop there and I'll be right there, biting my lips, asking for more.

Like a junkie addicted to their drugs and who can't even spend an entire day without their dose, I'm finding myself in front of the bathroom's mirror, looking at myself, wow, what a junkie, and I can't help but thinking, I'm so dirty, I'm so dirty, please God erase what just happened from my mind, because I can't face the shame.

We only find ourselves in front of each other for dinner, and I catch myself way too many times staring at her, and I'm thinking, what an irony, that a few years ago, she was the one asking me if us being together was right, and now, I am the one asking myself if this is actually right.

I'm not talking about the fact that we're both women, very in love with each other, there no denial in that ; my gay identity has been accepted for years now and I'm pretty sure that Cassie feels the same ; however, Cassie just went through an accident, and I can't be that selfish and just ask her to go out with me again.

Trust can't be bought or taken easily ; it must be given freely, with consent, and it takes times to be given to someone like that. And maybe, even if Cassie actually liked the kiss, I should back up and re-think about what I've done and consider her feelings once again.

And I'm scared, I'm so scared, I don't even know what to do, I mean, maybe she's scared, too, and she doesn't want to tell me. And now, I can't help but feeling the other day, when we were at the coffeeshop, I was thinking that after all, I could just be selfish as fuck and just force her into our relationship, despite all the break-up we've been through, despite the fact that she might remember why one day, and wake up next to me, and realise that I've been as shitty as her when I left Glendam, telling her that after all, if she wasn't leaving, it was just because she was « a piece of shit on my way to success that I don't need anymore ».

I can't be the angel, and her, the demon, in this story. Nothing is written in black or white ; everything is said in various tones of grey, and right now, we're just in the middle, sharing our fair trade of rights and wrongs, but now, she's forgotten all of them, and I'm just here, sitting with my anxiety, my worries, my fears, and it looks like I'm a madwoman in a place that wasn't designed for me. Just like a patient in a mental hospital, still unaware of their situation, still believing they're somewhere else, their head filled with illusions that will only come crushed one day.

I'm living with this constant paranoïa, the fights we had when we broke up. I still bear the scars, whether physical or emotional, of our various encounters, but she doesn't. She doesn't have to go through all these memories, and this is only fair, because after all, she deserves this redemption more than I do. I don't deserve any redemption, after all, I was the one who ran away.

« You can't do this to me ! Not after all we've been through ! You know I would be totally unable to live without you !

• Me neither, Cassie, I had replied one week before we had parted, but remember what you've said a couple of weeks ago ? You were happy for me. At the very least, one of us is winning, at this game, you had said. Time to make it up to your words. Besides, it's your fault if you failed your finals where I managed to pass them.
• And here you go again ! It wasn't enough of you leaving me behind because of our different grades, and now, you're reminding of my failure constantly ! As if I could change something about it now !
• Don't shit on my success because you've failed, please, I had pleaded, putting my hands on her shoulders for assertiveness. If you failed, you failed, and there's nothing I can do about it. Just live up to it and enjoy your shitty life here. Goodbye. »

We hadn't talked during the next week.

I mean, it's pretty obvious, right ? You're not gonna go back that easily to someone just in the end of an argument... And during the next days, I had pretended to hate her, so when I leave her, it would be less painful for the both of us... I would look at her, disdain filling up my eyes, and I wished, seriously wished, that I could have done something so she could leave with me and live with me in Detroit.

I was basically doing everything that was ever possible to break her heart so I wouldn't have to break mine once I would have left her for good. And I let her down, I know. During the next couple of weeks, months, and then years, before our break-up, I would constantly remind her with snarky remarks about how I had succeded and she had failed, even if she was actually doing something she enjoys, despite it not paying the bills, while I was doing something I hate, while still starving myself in order to save money for her, because the guilt was too damn big for my shoulders.

In the end, I'm still a coward because I can't tell her the truth, and I feel guilty because of the supposed manipulation of her feelings towards me to get her back with me, even if she probably wouldn't accept it if she had all of her memories back. After all, if she knew what I had done, she would probably break up with me again, and this time, never come again.

I feel like a dirty cheat, a dirty liar who's using, and abusing, of a situation where she's still weak and remissing, where she's learning her craft again, and she's telling me that actually, she still likes her job, and she can't wait to sell more things again, so I use my social media links to promote her work, with full credits and her permission, of course, because in the end, I've always wanted her to succeed more than me.

« Thanks for the promo, she quickly says while looking at the stuff I've talked about in my circle of supposed friends from work and everywhere else. It's really helpful, you know, to see you supporting me... and I can't be grateful enough...

• It's nothing, really, I quickly answer. You're still my friend, after all, and you really deserve that promo. I know how difficult it is to get noticed in the art field, so... I just wanted to help you out. »

And there she smiles again, and she's happy, and she probably believes I'm happy too, but I'm definitely not, and there's nothing else to say, in the end. I end up talking about it with Martha as once again, we're preparing dinner, and she's kinda surprised by my confession.

« I thought you were going back together, she said while checking the pasta. It's really sad that you don't seem to move on from your past altercations, unlike her...

• I'm trying to do it, Martha, but you know, it's not that easy to go on like this... I'll probably forever stained by these memories that she forgot... and I don't know what to do with them...
• You should try to let them slide, Annie, she retorts. Don't you think that it's equally hard for me and Jack to let go of these memories too... I mean, we've been there, in the middle of your fights, and we managed to move on from them. I know this will be much harder for you to do the same, but you should probably do it... Cassie would be much happier if you did it... for her, can you try, at the very least ? »

And very luckily, my ex-girlfriend arrives at this exact moment, as we're serving dinner, and we sit in front of each other, as usual, as we're served the pasta alla marinara made by Martha. In the end of the meal, Martha quickly makes a move in Jack's direction, and he understands that he should leave the room to let me explain my fears to Cassie.

I think, I'm very glad to have such amazing and understanding parents-in-law (parents-in-law ? Wow, Annie, slow down, you're not married to Cassie !) *maybe not yet ?*

« Mom said you wanted to talk, Annie... Is there something wrong that you'd like to talk about ?

• It's just... I need to vent all my emotions, so here we go. I didn't know what took me when I kissed you... I felt like we were in a relationship again, and I just was craving... well, you. I had forgotten, just for a moment, that we had broken up...
• I don't remember that, I don't think this is relevent, she answers, interrupting me in the process. Besides, I told you that I was willing to go back in a relationship with you... What are you afraid of ? I don't understand.
• I mean... aren't you afraid of me using your feelings for my personal gain ? After all the shitty things I've done...
• I don't remember that either... I just need some time to rebuild our relationship, but other than that, I don't... I don't hate you, do you understand ? »

She cuts the conversation, taking me in her arms, stroking my hair gently. I leave some tears on her jumper, but she doesn't seem to mind. She takes me back to the couch, and tucks me into bed, whispering good night before leaving, telling me that when I'm ready, I can sleep in her bed anytime. I'm not sure if I'm actually ready, but at the very least, it's reassuring to know this fact, as I end up falling asleep, and for the first time, the situation seems to be a little bit clearer, and hope starts going in my heart again. And in my dreams, during that first night of peace, I'm thinking about brighter tomorrow filled with her presence, and her smile, and everything that goes with it.

Maybe we were meant to be, after all.

Words : 2033 (Total : 19450).

Scene 10 : The suicide attempt

However, this feeling of bliss, serenity and calm that I've experienced during the last night doesn't last very long.

Maybe I wasn't meant to be happy after all.

When I thought Cassie's situation was finally over and she was ready to go back to work, letting me also go back to work, when I thought everything would be alright, when she was whispering in my ear, on the sofa, that it was perfectly alright, that she was okay, that nothing could happen to her now, that all of this was over, that there would be no problems anymore...

When I thought I would never be hurt again...

The phone rang. Not Martha's phone, not Jack's phone, my phone, which rings odd, because usually, when someone has a problem or one of their problems has been discovered, you call the family... not the awkward ex-girlfriend yelling and pacing down the corridor, mumbling something about how unfair the world is to her and the woman she still loves.

It was Patricia. Wow, that bitch still wants to talk to me ? What for ?

I don't understand. Maybe I shouldn't diss her because she had been the one escorting me off the room where a Cassie, still in shock from her accident, wanted me to leave ; after all, Cassie's told me how nice she had been and shit, so maybe I should actually listen to what she has to say or whatever.

I take my phone, letting it ring, not knowing if I'm actually gonna answer, and the ringing echoes in the entire living room, to the point where Cassie comes in and stares at me for a few seconds, before she notices me, in the dark, the phone in my hand, not even sure if I want to hear the news about her.

« You should answer, maybe it's important. », she says, before going back to the kitchen to make us dinner, as her parents are out tonight.

I end up picking up the phone, listening to the nurse who's taken care of Cassie, my Cassie, while she was remissing from her injuries. The first thing she says is sorry if I'm bothering you, but I have some news. It's very relevant to Cassie's mental health, and I thought you should know.

I don't even say a word while she explains me what actually caused her accident.

« Let's say... she tried to commit suicide, miss Thompson. I'm not lying. The police have done an investigation on the case. They found out that she didn't even tried to slow down when she hit the tree. Actually, the car was speeding towards the tree...

They tried to contact your parents, but they didn't have their phone numbers, and yours neither, so they called here, in the hospital, so we could give you the message. I didn't have miss Miller's parents on the phone... so I'm pretty glad that I got you, at the very least.

I thought you should know about this, miss Thompson. Miss Miller seems to be depressed, and she might try to commit suicide again... so if you're about to leave, I wouldn't advise it. It's for her better, trust me. Miss Thompson ? »

And all of a sudden, it seems that I can't breathe anymore.

Oh God my Cassie my Cassie my Cassie tried to commit suicide it's all my fault what did I do why is she like this why is she depressed is she trying to get back with me to tell me something I don't understand why did she try to commit suicide it's impossible she can't do that why did she do this I don't get it oh my God please someone send me an explanation because I can't seem to find one.

The phone drips out of my hands, and for a few seconds, I let it there, unable to move, unable to react, unable to answer to Patricia's voice on the other side of the line, and time seems to be freezing.

It's only when I'm able to regain my composure that I end up taking the phone again.

« Yes, I understand, I quickly say as I try to shorten our conversation as much as possible. I'll be keeping her safe, don't worry...

• I'm glad she has a supporting family and such an amazing ex-girlfriend... not many exes would do that, in my opinion. It's very strong of you to stay with a depressed person while they get better. I can only wish you the best. Have a nice evening and my apologies for the late call, once again. »

I look at my phone, glancing at the phonescreen – it's a picture of Cassie, holding up the sign I still love you, taken on one of the swings in our playground, at night, a couple of days after our break-up. Was it a Christmas picture ? I think so, but I don't seem to remember. It feels like my brain is trying to cut out the bad parts too, but I don't want these to go, because it would feel like cheating at a game where we don't even have the rules to play.

« Who was it ? Cassie calls in, taking our dinner – Chinese take-out, we're really lazy when it comes to cooking – before sitting down next to me

• No one, I vaguely answer, lying as usual, just Patricia who wanted to have some of your news. I told you how good you had been recently and she's happy for us.
• You look like you're about to cry though. » Cassie knows. She can feel when I'm not alright, and my red eyes only seem to confirm her thoughts. « Are you okay, Annie ?
• Not really. I'm just a little bit worried, I guess... I just want to know if you are alright, that's all. Promise me ?
• Promise. », she had said, smiling and staring into my eyes confidently.

And once again, I've been proven to be a dirty liar.

A coward and a liar.

A coward and a liar and a sinner.

There's nothing in this place for me, I guess.

I don't even know how I'm feeling at this moment ; other than the words she probably committed suicide because of me because of me because of me it's all my fault it's all my fault it's all my fault I've created this I've turned what used be such a good person into a breakeable shell of nothingness and I'm the only one at fault here.

Even if she doesn't remember this, this depression, I'm not talking about the memories, but about the feelings, about how she shouldn't try to get back with me, since all I'm gonna do is leave her, again, and break her heart, again, and repeat the same things, again. It looks like we're eighteen again, ending our high-school years, hoping that it's still working, when really, it isn't.

It has never been since we broke up.

During the next few days, Cassie tries to pamper me, with a lot of cuddling and comfort food, and I'm not saying anything ; I try not to tell the Millers, but their questions are incessant, so I end up taking them to the kitchen while she's changing to her clothes for the day, and I explain to them the call I had recieved from Patricia the other night, the night that changed everything.

« It's not your fault, Annie, you shouldn't put yourself in the position of the guilty person when you're obviously not... Martha had answered.

• She still has tried to commit suicide, Martha ! It's not like, a little bump on the road ! She sped on that tree ! She could have died ! And it's all my fault, you all know it. I've made you all sad and I don't even feel like I belong in this family anymore.
• You do, even if you think you don't. », Jack had promptly replied. « Don't ever feel like you're not a part of this family. You've been with us all this time and you believe that this little accident, this little accident, would change anything in this matter ? No, because we still love you, and you tend to hate yourself over nothing, really. Just relax... you know that everything's gonna be okay, right ? »

In the end, it felt like I was the person people cared about and supported, instead of Cassie, which felt weird at first. But then, I realised how much I actually needed this, and having the Millers on my side to keep reassuring me that my feelings were right was very appreciated. But still, I felt like an alienated person in a mental hospital, and I ended up imagining what went through Cassie's head when she had her accident.

Was she thinking about me while speeding up towards that tree, wanting her life to end suddenly, without pain ? Was she crying all of the tears in her body, trying to regain her composure ? Did she think about her own funeral, about how we would react to her death, and if we would miss her ? Was she feeling over-whelmed, or in the opposite, completely calm, with a clear objective ? Did she try to call me before the crash to tell me she was sorry ? Did she try to contact anyone for that matter ?

I also imagined the hours, the minutes, the seconds before the accident. Had she premedited her action or was it completely random ? I don't even know. Heck, even Cassie herself doesn't know. I guess we'll never know the truth, that this mystery will remain unsolved, and that we'll never get around it.

In the end, I woke up in the middle of the night, still on the couch that I started to hate so much, limbs tangled under the sheets, sweat all across my body. You guessed it : I was, at that moment, the exact opposite of hot, or even cute ; I was a woman taken by horror, feeling like she just died in that exact same accident that almost killed Cassie. I had actually imagined, in my dream, or should I say nightmare, what the accident looked like in reality. And only then did I realise the meaning of Patricia's words, earlier during the day.

You should take real care of her, miss Thompson... Amnesia doesn't erase depression. They are two very different things, as it's been proven by scientific studies that a depressed brain doesn't work as « well », let's say... than a non-depressed one. I really hope you understand, and have a nice evening. Goodbye.

Remembering that I could sneak in her bed at any given time, and sleep with her, I started going along the corridor, like a sleep-walker. I carefully opened the door, making sure that I didn't make a sound, before climbing on the bed, under the sheets. Cassie seems asleep, and I can barely see her back from where I am now.

« Cassie ? Are you awake ? I whisper while tapping her shoulder.

• What ? No, not anymore... », she answers, and I mentally curse myself repeatedly because I've woken her up. But I guess that I can't sleep alone, so that will do. « What's wrong, Annie ? You look very shaky...
• I had a nightmare, that's all. Can I sleep here for the rest of the night though ?
• Sure, come here... Hey, Annie. », she concludes while running her hand through my hair. « You're not at fault for anything here. It was an accident, remember ? Don't worry for me, I'm fine... Just stay here and try to sleep, okay ? »

I end up falling asleep while cuddling with her, as usual, her being big spoon and me being the little one, and only when I'm sure she's a hundred percent alright, I close my eyes and drift away until the next morning.

And the last thought that comes across my head is that Cassie didn't have an accident. She tried to kill herself. And I believe she deserves to know that.

2050 words (Total : 21500).